Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
