Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
