Got a toothbrush?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
