NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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