so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
