I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
