She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
