my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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