I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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