party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
