It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
