Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
