Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
