I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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