we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
