someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Randomize
