If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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