This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
