Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i think i have two assholes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
