I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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