Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
