Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
