giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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