were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
