She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
