New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
