i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
