You're so nebulous sometimes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
