I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
