Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is not my ceiling
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
