Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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