well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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