Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
