Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
