So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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