if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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