I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's never too late to be topless.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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