My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
