I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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