absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
