yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
