just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Randomize
