Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
