trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
