Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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