we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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