your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
