I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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