This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
