why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
