Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
