My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize